God- The imaginary friend for adults?

I've been having some thoughts going round my mind recently about children having imaginary friends. When a child creates an imaginary friend, that they take everywhere with them, play with them regularly and imagine their company when they are lonely, adults will say "it's a phase, he will grow out of it soon." Or to people outside of the situation who ask a caregiver who the child was referring to when he mentioned the name of his imaginary friend parents will of course say "Oh he doesn't really exist its just his imaginary friend."

But what happens when an adult says they have this supposed thing in their lives called God, who is there all the time to watch over them, be their friend, love them eternally and unconditionally, and who they go to when they are lonely? We say that it's a religious perspective, it mustn't be questioned, not that they never grew out of their phase during childhood in which they had imaginary friends or that soon they will just realise God doesn't exist. In fact, many people will wholeheartedly agree with them that this supposed being exists. It's quite a different reaction in comparison to when a child says he is playing with his 'friend.'

In the same way that it is theorised that children who have imaginary friends are lacking something fundamental in their lives, whether its companionship, friendship, general company, a playmate, attentive and loving parents, or someone to turn to when they are sad and feel as though no one in the world understands them, I think the same thing about adults who believe in God, Jesus, Angels, and other various spirits that people often claim exist.

As an atheist who was once someone that strongly believed in a wide variety of spirits, Gods, angels etc I can firmly say that this was my experience. I lacked really deep connection with myself and others around me. It was my way of getting by at the time and remaining happy, to feel that there was something there watching over me, that even if it was in some other dimension I always had a friend I could rely on for help and support. The thought of there being no after-life brought me a horrifying feeling, but of course this makes sense, life lacked so much joy, connection, intimacy and rich life experiences that to imagine my life would end and then there would be nothing made me panic. The thought of dying with out having really lived was painful, and I liked to imagine that I would find all my peace, joy, and freedom after I had died in the after-world. It was an easy and comfortable illusion, all one has to do is die and then we find peace, it involves no real work in reality.

Since becoming more deeply connected with myself, my partner, and rejecting people from my life with whom I cannot have such great relationships, the desire to see Gods, angels and other various spirits in the skies or pretend they are all around me has totally vanished. Why would I need to imagine the love, friendship, advice, care and concern those imaginary beings gave me when I have them as something tangible and real in my life?

'Talking' to Gods and Spirits and Their Place in the Me-Cosystem

If there is one major thing I learned about myself after this experience of requiring many imaginary friends in the form of Gods and Spirits then it was that when I thought I was communicating to things in another dimension I was actually communicating with the many different aspects of myself. For example, I used to pretend that there was a God of anger, or a goddess of sadness, I would prescribe different emotions, feelings and situations a different God or a spirit which I would imagine going to for help during difficult times. Well, since of course these beings did not actually exist in reality and were not communicating to me through me doing some special prayer or chant, any advice, joy, happiness, peace of mind and clarity which I gained from these imaginary beings were actually coming from me. This was an empowering realisation to know that it was me who was guiding myself, that it was me with the wisdom I needed to make my way through this life, and not something from an external source.

In the same way that we can assume a child with imaginary friends lacks something from their lives and that it is just a passing phase, I encourage any religious person to ask themselves what they gain from belief in a God that they lack in reality either in the past or in the present, and what role this supposed being plays in their Me-Cosystem? Especially when one considers that George Bush for example claims God told him to go to war in iraq, but others claim God tells them to always love and never harm, God is simply just an imaginary and all powerful being used to represent different parts of the personality in different people in these cases.

Aussie Aussie Aussie!!!!!!! (I'm allowed to stay)

So, I thought it's about time I wrote a celebratory post to say that my application for a partner visa to stay in Australia with my Australian partner was successful, and my permanent residency is under process at the moment!

What a great relief!

Here is a funny oldie to celebrate lol!

Helping a Homeless Child- There's only so much you can do. . .

A few weeks a go as I left work in the afternoon, sitting across the road was a scruffy young man with a sign in front of him reading "I'm 15 years old and homeless, any change will help. Thax." I walked by but uncomfortably so, I wanted desperately to help him, he is still only a child after all. There was nothing I could give him at the time, nor any advice I knew of that would be helpful for him.

Naturally I told my partner about what happened, saddened by what I had told him he advised me that buying the boy some food might be the best idea as opposed to giving him money (I don't know statistics, but it is rumored that often homeless people will spend the money on drugs and alcohol - obviously not what we want for a teenager).

I didn't see him again for a few weeks until today I was on my way home and looking forward to a couple of hours of sleep before my next shift tonight, but found myself instead walking as quickly as possible to the nearest shops to see if I could find him a healthy sandwich, a drink, maybe some fruit and a couple of treats. Rushing back I went and stood next to him, a little nervous, with a story someone once told me going through my mind about how one day a homeless person shouted at him because the man offered him food and not money, I asked him if he wanted some food and he just lifted his head and said "cheers," while taking the food from me, he looked exhausted and drained, as one might expect.

I find it sad to see how for so long he sits and every now and then someone might give him a glance but other than that almost everyone just walks on by, I wanted my action to show him that there are people out there who care for his safety and his well-being, because I can only imagine that having nowhere to go, no one to go home to, and no one showing any care, would be a most saddening and scary situation to be in. I hope that my actions brought him some joy even if only for a few seconds.

Walking away I felt sad, because I wish there was so much more I could do than just give food. It's a good meal for sure, but it's no safety from Perth's dangerous streets, nor an opportunity for a future. But the act of kindness I had carried out did bring me a lot of joy. I plan on looking up about homeless shelters in and around Perth and give him the information, and probably some more lunch next time I see him.

Your input and thoughts are welcomed! :D

Can being a speaking witness for an abused child cause more damage than good?

This is the first post I have made in a while, but I'm itching to write my thoughts on this one.

For a long time I've been passionate about the idea of speaking out in defense for a child who we see being abused, that is to say being threatened with violence ( e.g. "you'll get a slap if you carry on!"), a child being verbally abused, or actually being physically abused (e.g. seeing a care giver, usually the mother, slapping or spanking the child). My reason for this is that through Stefan Molyneux's work and Alice Miller's work, I came to believe that speaking out for an abused child is pivotal, not because it will change the parent (it probably won't) but because the child will experience someone showing him/her sympathy and empathy, when he is otherwise very much alone in his suffering.

It is believed that if the abused child receives this much needed sympathy, and can see so to speak, that good people do not fall under bad people, and that there are indeed good people in the world, then the child has a much stronger chance of growing up, able to process the pain he experienced as a child, instead of it becoming disconnected from its original source and coming out in the form of either abuse towards the self (drugs, self harm, eating disorders, suicide to name a few) or abuse towards others (most often in the form of verbally or physically abusing one's own child).

In a conversation I recently had with Stefan Molyneux about a significant issue I have been facing (which I gave him permission to release in the Donator Sections of the forums), I asked him what he believed would happen to a child if instead of repressing the pain they feel and idolising their abuser (e.g. "my father did the right thing when he beat me" "my parents beat me because they loved me and wanted the best for me") they actually felt the full force of the pain and the sadness they are holding inside them, and realised that they are trapped with this so called care giver for years to come, with no escape, and he replied that he thought the child would most likely fall into a serious depression or even develop suicidal feelings (hence the term "we had to disconnect from the pain in order to survive.")

So, if we as the moralists we are, try empathising with the abused child, do we run the risk of waking the child up to this pain and sadness? (Seeing as it is necessary for the child's survival)

Or on the other hand, do we run the risk of the child further idolising the abuser, because along with their own first hand experience, someone else has confirmed that the parent is evil, and so it becomes more important for the child to make stronger the belief that the parent is really a nice, kind, loving and caring person? An example comes to mind of someone I met who seemed to proudly boast about how her mother pulled down her trousers and spanked her publicly, and crowds of people expressed their horror at what they saw, to this day this person believes that what her mother did was good, and necessary, and repeatedly commented on how bad she thought it was of people to try and intervene with what her mother was doing. It seems to me that in this case the speaking witnesses in defense of the child only served to reinforce the idolisation of the abuser. Unfortunately this woman also claimed she would hit her own child, and allow others to hit her child when under the care of someone else. It was heart breaking to hear.

It is difficult for me to look back to my own childhood and ask myself if a speaking witness in my defense would have brought great relief or intense despair.

Your thoughts and insights would be greatly appreciated, and I might post this question on the FDR forums too.

And I also encourage you to listen to this spectacular talk between Stefan Molyneux- host of Freedomainradio.com and Jordan Riak- Executive Director, Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education on the Case Against Spanking. (www.nospank.net)

Baby Magpies and White Clouds

Black Swans and Grey Skies

I went for a supposed short stroll down to the river only to end up on a 2 hour walk, I was grateful to find these swans on my way, the top picture is my favorite, I didn't know until I was up close that the eyes were as red as the beaks. I have a panorama of Perth city 5 photos stitched together but I thought a small would be nice, it's just 2 photos stitched together, it was the little colorful boat that caught my eye and I was lucky to get the flying seagulls.

A Sunset From The Balcony

Here is a sunset I caught from the balcony, lol excusing the telephone pole, it is not meant to be the centre piece of the photo.